Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Feelings... | By Harrison


Well, this is a post I didn't think I would ever be writing. Ask anyone who is close to me, they would say that I was the least emotional person going. I'm not one for feelings or one to share how I'm feeling. 

However...

Recently I have developed feelings for someone. Feelings I never thought I'd ever have for them. It started with a bit of flirtatious banter, playing and going back and fourth. That's all it was. That's all my intention was, just to have a little banter. Through the weeks and months, the banter escalated into something I have no idea of what it is. It got more intense, he started making contact, started hitting my bum in a joking way, started rubbing and massaging my shoulders. All innocent, all in light. 

We talk, we get on well, we have a laugh, we are on the same wavelength with different things.... we also work together. Working together, flirting, spending ever day with each other. Not easy. Also... He's not gay. 
So needless to day, I'm in a bit of a rut. 

To remain professional, I can't say anything. To avoid my ego taking a dent, I can't say anything. To avoid awkwardness I can't say anything. But do I carry on saying nothing. Do I approach the subject? Do I just be honest and up front with him? No. I can't. Arghhh!!! 
Also, usually he's not my type. I don't know if I'm just feeling lonely and he's showing me some attention or whether these feelings are genuine and are actually there.

In my head, I'm thinking I need to just get a grip and move on with life. He's not gay, he doesn't like me like that, he's just messing around. I need to suck it up and move on. But how? How? When you have developed some kind of feeling, how can you just move on, working together every day, pretending nothing has happened? 

Feelings ey, why have them? They cause nothing but harm! haha! 

Please help! If anyone reading this has ever experienced something like this, please let me know. Help me out people!! 

| Harrison|